There is quite a paradox in what you write here. Surely, I understand that the platitudes of those that “think” they have the solution, but don’t actually want to be connected to you, are frustrating. However, as a fairly lonely person myself, I did not really take anything away from this that would help me. In fact, I feel that to a great extent my loneliness is at least partially an artifact of my own creation, so those platitudes are accurate to some extent…at least for me. I tend to be abrasive and clearly am way up on the autism spectrum.
At this point, I am not even really looking for solutions, because I don’t really seem to be able to connect with people on a personal level…CONSISTENTLY. I seem to be completely unable to SUSTAIN any close relationship and end up just digging around in my garden and talking to my dog. It has taken time for me to learn this about myself and it makes me not even want to try, frankly, because I know that inevitably I will withdraw into my head space and shun contact. This causes pain for the other people that may be looking for more of a connection, but I have begun to believe I am simply not capable of it…or at least sustaining it.
Peace my friend, I hope you do better and are doing better than me at this profound conundrum of the human condition.