By its very nature love would seem to be co-dependent, whether it be “romantic” love or “parental” love or the other “familial” versions. When deciding to have children, I realized that I was giving up significant independence and in fact giving up control of my life. There is no way a parent can easily separate from their offspring’s life so much that they are completely unaffected by the goings on there. And it is very very difficult to imagine hugely negative things that might happen to one’s offspring not affecting one’s worldview and well-being. Love means connection and connection means some form of dependence as you have become part of an extended human familial unit by marriage or birth or choice. Most of us are familiar with the phrase “no man is an island”, though many of us do not realize it was John Donne who wrote it in a poem, so perhaps Janis Joplin said it better with, “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.”

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store